
The Comparison Game
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- The Comparison Game
The Comparison Game
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We all fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others at one point or another. It’s that judging that happens which though not bad in and of itself, can reek havoc with ones’ creativity. When we get stuck on focusing on the judgement, we end up comparing and placing heavy expectations on ourselves as a result.Often when we are judging others we may find ourselves getting caught up in being jealous, of putting others down (out loud or in our head) because of our own feelings of inadequacies or simply putting ourselves down because of false comparisons we make. I say “false comparisons” because when you begin to acknowledge the vast differences and the unique person each and every one of us is, you realize that to compare oneself to another is unfair because as was so well explained in The Healing of Touch:
“Every person and situation is unique and therefore cannot be compared with anyone or anything else. All comparisons and all forms of competition are essentially founded on illusion” ~Alice Burmeister
I think it is important to acknowledge when you notice yourself comparing yourself to others. We all do this. It is what it is. Yet when we fall into the comparison trap it adds to any existing distress, growing the worry, the “shoulds” and “should nots”. Sometimes observing without judgement is difficult.
I also understand that sometimes we may wish to seek answers outside ourselves and look to others and what they may think. Though this may be helpful it often brings us down that comparison path which can lead to despair and feeling blocked.
It is one of the reasons that I see myself as a guide rather than a teacher for I am still learning, I will always be learning and what I learn from other teachers ultimately points me in the direction of Self and what I already know deep within. For me it is important to help other’s explore their creativity through self-reflection, and connection with their inner creative wisdom. This inner wisdom is a gift we all have inside. This is why my approach is not about art techniques.
I would guess that most of the courses out there – even though they may teach certain techniques – would suggest that you experiment and find your own way with each mode of creative expression. It is so important to find your own voice. Once you have the ability to recognize your own voice then it will be so much easier to hear it and not be drowned out by the many other voices out there. Without identifying our own creative voice it is easy to feel lost in the sea of others creativity.
But how do you find your creative voice?
Sometimes this means sitting with the feelings of frustration or disappointment that come up just as much as sitting with those feelings of delight and excitement. It is essential to acknowledge that in both cases there is an overriding expectation that has been put on the creative self. This can weigh us down. I think where most of us get tangled (myself included) happens when we approach our art with an expectation for it to turn out a certain way. Art that is an expression of who we are is never predictable in that way, even if we are following a certain technique. Your creative voice has its own unique stamp.
I have often seen in online groups where there is positive feedback given ultimately it is not helpful to people because whether positive or negative they both imply an expectation and judgement being made. If someone likes one art piece then there may be a feeling to have to live up to this standard with other pieces. And what does it say about the pieces not commented on- are they not worthy? Did they miss the “mark”? In my courses and workshops participants are asked to acknowledge and observe or witness other’s art but not judge or praise for this very reason.
We all have a unique creative voice which is just waiting to be acknowledged and heard by none other than ourselves. Call it your Muse, your inner artist, creative Self, whichever you like the need is the same: to embrace wholeheartedly our creative wisdom in all of his or her uniqueness.
Can you hear that voice?
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