When you were a child did you like to play?

Was it your end all and be all?

Play was the goal,

your life,

your center

You felt grounded when you played

You felt connected

Connection with your imagination

Your creativity

And then one day you were told the lie

Play is not important

You must “stop this nonsense”

You must “grow up”

“It’s not time to play!”

They shouted

Pointing their knowing fingers at your play

With impatience,

Impudence

You listened as you were told to do

Though you still played

and did not always do as you were told

You listened just the same

Until one day you could hear another voice,

This time from within:

How dare you play?

When there is so much work to be done

How dare you be so silly?

When I am trying to be serious

How dare you?!

But dare you did

You managed to keep a little piece of that playfulness inside

Only to bring in out when other children were around

Or when no one (at least no “adult”) was looking

And now as an adult you carry that little childlike piece of yourself within like a tattered shred of blanket from your childhood.

But each day that you are not able to take it out

reminisce with it

play around with it

Expose it

There is the risk of it dwindling

smaller and smaller

Until one day you wake up

Lying there with the heavy weight of regret

Regret of not playing more

With your friends,

Your surroundings,

Your whole being,

With life

Where did the fun go?

Comes a familiar voice from within

And in that moment

A fond memory brings tears of joy to your eyes as you hang on to that last bit of play left in you

You look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself permission

It’s okay to play

It’s okay to not be serious

It’s okay to be silly

It’s okay to laugh at myself

You dig it out,

that playful side

with the audacity of a preschooler fighting for their favorite toy

And in that very moment that you pay your child-like, playful side some respect

You feel the life come back into you

A revived and renewed energy for living

And real life goes on

Originally published in Spirit Journal 2011