From time to time my inner critic states her opinion on the task at hand. In the past I have given in, giving up on what I was doing as a result.  Then I became pretty good about listening to her without judgement for the most part and letting it slide.  Still these critical voices would come back and interfere with whatever it was I was trying to create in my life. Who would have thought that after all this time I would still be taking her opinion seriously right? But what if that was the point, what if there was something there that I needed to take a serious look at?

Let’s look at the role of the inner critic. Is the inner critic simply an annoying voice that makes us feel bad about our selves and doubt our abilities? Or does the inner critic serve some other function?

If we unravel the concept of inner critic it is derived from the Freudian concept of the ego or even the super ego. A part of ourselves that has internalized the expectations and values from our families and society at large. The judge who looks at what we do compared to these internalized expectations.

But somewhere a long the line the inner critic has shifted out of the original protective role of keeping us in line or at least aware of other’s expectations. I say “protective” because if we continued to act from an egocentric place as very young children and babies do, we would have difficulty over time relating to others, putting ourselves in their place and having empathy.  Following expectations to an extent is an important part of being human since we are relational beings.

The inner critic can be seen as an imbalance within the ego whose role it is to make sure we follow the rules of our family and the bigger society. The inner critic takes criticism too far, putting us down and degrading our sense of self.  So it is easy to see why many people think the best thing to do with those inner critic scripts is to ignore them.

But lets take a closer look at this. If the original role of the critic is to bring our attention to something that needs to change, then if we ignore the inner critic messages entirely we may be missing out on reflecting on an important message from or unconscious.  I’m not saying that we should accept the undermining tone of these messages, but rather that it is important to take a closer look to see what exactly might be going on.

There are a few ways of viewing the inner critic:

1. We can shun these critical voices as malicious and not noteworthy, scripts we’ve picked up from our childhood that no longer serve us. Or
2. We can embrace the inner critic, looking at the true intention behind its misguided or improperly presented criticism.

I think that it all depends on the situation and what messages we are getting.  If the general message is “I am not worthy” then ignoring this message may seem like a good thing to do.  However, if we do not replace it with an alternative message then we may find ourselves in constant ignoring mode which can consume a lot of emotional energy.

Instead of using one method over the other I prefer to use both: explore the hidden meaning or message of the inner critic, recognize where it may be coming from, past interactions with others, present fears, and then replace it with a more appropriate message that will support us. This is the embracing of the true intention that I am talking about, recognizing when we are feeling stuck and why, accepting these fears or doubts (that everyone experiences from time to time)  and moving forward with a message of believing in ourselves despite these fears or doubts. Sometimes reminding yourself of times you have succeeded, despite being fearful or uncertain can help.

Here are the steps needed to gain insight from those inner critics:

1. Identify the messages you have internalized. What are they? Where did you pick them up? How have they been reinforced over time?
2. Release the critical messages. Acknowledge these messages, any good intentions that may have originally been behind them as well as not so good intentions and let the old messages go.
3. Examine if there is something you can glean from the message(s) that will give you insight.
4. Devise a helpful message to replace the critical message. In order to be able to release them they need to be replaced with  new messages. What is it you need to hear for support in your particular situation?
5. Move forward and create, reminding yourself of past successes and times you were able to move through or with the stuck.

Next time you find your inner critic interfering, step back and take a look at just what exactly going on and then take action!