If you don’t allow yourself to make mistakes then you will never really know what you are capable of.

I have made many mistakes, some I wish I could take back and some I realize were like “the Best Mistake Ever” where the mistake turns out to be a blessing in disguise.  I know that I can learn from my mistakes yet still I fear them.  Or perhaps it’s all those other things I fear: fear of being judged, of looking stupid, fear of failing and what it says about me.  When I begin to  think of fearing mistakes this way avoidance steps in to “save” me.  Avoidance is fear’s accomplice.

Writing this, scrutinizing the original draft, I felt fear creep in and shout at me “What are you writing!”  Rather than post this a few weeks ago when I had written it (close to Halloween of course) avoidance visited.  At all costs I usually want to avoid facing my fears.  They’re scary after all.

I think sometimes fear gets put on a pedestal.  We make it bigger than it is.  The bigger the fear, the bigger the hold it has on us.  Think of a shadow in a candle lit room.  Depending on where you place the candle light in proximity to objects or people, their shadows can become enormous, distorting the reality of what they are.

This is what we do with fear. We focus on it so much it becomes larger. We get an idea to fear in our head and we feed it. Feed it with our thoughts, we shower attention on it.  Even as we try not to think about it, we allow it to grow,  often encouraging it to grow in power by our very focus on it.

The question then is what do we do with this fear?

Every Halloween the goblins and monsters come out to address this issue.  But Halloween only happens once a year. What about all the other fears that plague many daily? Fear of failure, fear of success,  fear of the unknown  and fear of fill in the blank.

During Halloween those monsters that are feared are faced head on.  Rather than avoid the feared stuff,  children become the fear by dressing up as the feared. Minimally they go out into the dark and face an entity that embodies that fear several times while  parading around the neighbourhood. It’s a kind of desensitization.  They face these fears so that they can show themselves that all is save, there is nothing to be feared here.  When children dress up as those goblins they otherwise would have run from, they are taking control of those fears.

That’s all well and fine if your fear is of monsters and goblins literally.  But what about those other fears we all experience from time to time. Those psychological blocks that keep us from moving forward?  In my opinion they may not be all that different. A fear is a fear.  Generally though those fears that come up for people are not founded on a real threat.  Yet fear is meant to activate us into action to protect ourselves from real or perceived danger.  Fear in that sense can be a call to action.  And who doesn’t want to act out! (Inner child where are you?) Thank goodness I have listened to my fears’ call to action.  If I hadn’t I’m not sure that I would be creating much of anything. And that would be boring don’t you think?

What do you do when you are faced with fears?

What actions can you do to face these fears?

Personify your fear: what would your fear look like if it was a goblin or monster?  Have fun with it.  Take out some markers pastels, crayons, paints, collage, whatever you feel like working with to put together your fear character.  What have you discovered about your fear(s)?

Dream Dialgues e-course begins in a few days On Friday November 16th.  Join us in uncovering the mysteries of your dreams through expressive arts and discover the wisdom within! Registration closes Nov. 16th at 9pm EST.